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​Children

(and their grown-ups)

 I believe...

 

  • All behavior is communication: expressing a need, a desire, an emotion or concern. 

  • Children want to do the "right" thing, but may not yet have developed the emotional maturity and/or skills to self-relect,  tolerate  discomfort, or regulate their feeling states. 

 

  • Concerning behaviors evolve as a way for a child to manage uncomfortable feelings: of overwhelm, confusion, shame, and/or fear.

OR--> 

  • ​​Behaviors that we become concerned about evolve as a way children manage uncomfortable feelings: of overwhelm, confusion, shame, and/or fear. 

 

We begin ...

 

  • by building trust.  I listen to and validate your child's perspectives, and learn the ways they like to play and interact. 

 

  •  by introducing the concept of "parts" of them. We identify and interact with these parts in creative ways.

 

By giving voice to these different aspects of themselves, children develop      

  an understanding of the meaning and purpose of their   

   feelings and behaviors(their 'parts'). 

In turn, they begin to experience the possibility of choice and control over their 

 feelings & behaviors.

They experience a sense of their own strengths and inner resourcesand naturally move towards health and balance. 

 

 

 

 

To their grown-ups...

  • I assume that parents deeply love their children and that you know them best! 

  • Your child is developing within the context of your family and their community. Therefore I welcome your involvement and, if appropriate, collaboration with your child's school personnel or medical providers.

  • I am happy to offer consultation related to parenting.  It's not easy to know the right thing to do!  Consultation can offer a wider perspective. 

 

 Teenagers /Adolescents

To begin...

  • Remember what it was like when YOU were a teenager?!?

I believe...

  • Being a teenager is a time of immense growth and change.  Teens are busy determining who they are, what is important to them, and how they want to live.

 

  • A primary task of adolescence is to test out and assert one's independence.  They learn through experience, meaning adults must expect they will make mistakes!  

 

  • Teens are busy navigating their social world, school work, and extracurricular activities, all while learning to manage new feelings and variable moods.  While this can be exhilarating, it can be tremendously stressful, resulting in irritability, confusion, insecurity, anxiety, withdrawal, or depression.  This can leave parents wondering and worrying.

We begin...

  • By getting to know each other and building trust.

      I listen without trying to fix anything, and validate your teenager’s perspective. 

  • By listening for and strengthening their awareness of 'islands of competency'.  What is going well?  How are they already coping?  What are their strengths?  Who 'has their back'?   I remind them that we trust they have what they need to get through. 

  • By offering creative outlets as an alternate way of expressing thoughts, and feelings.

 

 

Sitting with an adult who has no agenda (unlike parents or schools),

allows a teen to listen more closely to what is true for them.

 Finding and learning to trust their inner compass is empowering. 

 

And feeling empowered within a context of knowing they are trusted

and believed in, allows teenagers to be open to trying out new behaviors,

and frees up their natural movement towards health and balance.

 

ADULTS

My work with adults is informed by my own transformative experience.  I deeply believe in ifs power to heal...etc.,

as an adult we all have blind spots and part 

[Be frank direct emotionl.]

Whether navigating anxiety, depression, loss, or change, together we can turn towards these gently, at a pace that you decide, 

its a collaborative experience, im not going to force tell you (make affirmative/ ) I am going to ...This is what we will do...

Internal Family Systems

 

    Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) offers a          For an introduction /overview to IFS,two video links:

   compassionate, non-pathologizing approach              Richard Schwartz : 7 min

   to healing /the wounded, burdened, and                     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdZZ7sTX840    or  traumatized/ parts of your inner system,                     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym8o762U7uc

   with the goal of increasing internal harmony              Tori Olds:  18 mins

   and connection.                                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch v=tNA5qTTxFFA&t=2s     

                         

            

                                                                              

  • The IFS framework holds that we are made up of sub-personalities or "parts", all of               

       which interact to help us navigate our day-to-day lives.                               

                                                                                   

  • IFS believes that each part has an underlying positive intention.

  • We come to therapy often because a 'part' has become more extreme, and is 'running the show' in ways or at times that are not helpful.

  • IFS also holds that we have an observing witness, compassionate inner leader, and source of   wisdom, called the SELF.  This SELF can be a powerful resource for regulating emotions and   behaviors, for healing past 'wounds' and releasing inaccurate beliefs about ourselves that  we've taken on.   

  • My work with you or your child will include being guided to turn towards these parts with  curiosity and compassion, getting to know more about them, listening for their positive intentions and beginning to deepen their connection with the “SELF”. 

 

  • Our parts begin to get used to feeling seen and heard, developing more trust within. 

 

  • This kind of work helps to build deeper self awareness, greater flexibility and  more choice over one's thoughts, feelings, reactions and behaviors. 

Art, Expressive, and Play Therapies

  • Are you a visual thinker? Do you like to “show” what you feel and “see” the connections you are making?   

  • Do you sometimes find that words don’t capture a feeling or experience?

  •  Art, play & other expressive /therapies/modalities are powered by an inborn desire to create. ,

   Children naturally

 utilizes [creative expression /and/] visual representations/  as a therapeutic tool to help initiate change. 

  •  

  •  For children,/ Play and art /are natural ways children / allow children to express and explore their experiences.  and better process /make sense of /gain an an understanding of/ their circumstances. 

Ccreative expression gives therapists an  variety of tools to help clients tap into their imagination, body sensations, feelings, emotions, and thought processes in profound ways.

Focuses not on interpreting your creations, nor on relying on the mind to come up with answers, but...

 

  • Drawing, painting, collaging, creating in 3-D with clay or other building materials, as well as creating your story in a sand tray, or even journaling,  all offer alternatives to expression that can circumvent the conscious mind, and augment 'talk therapy'.  Not to mention it can add some fun! These are all natural ways the mind-body expresses and processes the world. 

 

  •  Engaging in a creative process also /deepens and anchors/ the integration of information, discoveries./and healing

Creativity becomes a unique journey to expression of inner feelings, deepest desires and long-lost intuition. In other words, the creative process becomes the pathway to emotional health. and has even been helpful for those who are just looking for a supportive place to explore who they are and what goals they would like to focus on in life.

Writing: Because of the catharsis it inspires, the act of storytelling has woven its way into the therapeutic space and is being used to uncover and even heal some of our deepest wounds.

Writing helps people find a voice when they may not be able to otherwise. 

puppets & toy for projecting thoughts & feelings.

Explore real life experiences

 

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